Depression Goggles

Sometimes I feel like life should come with warning labels like medicine bottles do. You know, those little stickers with the amusing illustrations that say interesting things like "Warning: May cause drowsiness," "Take with milk or food," or "Do not take with alcohol."

Much like many medications and alcohol, depression, stress, and drama do not mix well. In fact, they kind of feed off of each other. Each of the three monsters makes the others look bigger, scarier, and less defeatable.

I originally called this blog "the world through both my eyes" because I love photography. The lens is my other set of eyes, another way that I look at the world. It's also a reference to a John Mayer song...but we'll leave that alone for now.

But I guess in a way depression has become a second set of eyes for me as well. A third set of eyes? whatever. When something pulls the depression goggles out, that's they only way I can see things. It makes it so hard to focus on the good, or on what needs to be done, and makes it so easy to lay back in my pajamas with a bowl of something munchy and play a mindless computer game. I crave comfort so much when I'm depressed. I desire to shove everything that is uncomfortable away, forget it is there, save it for when I don't feel so damn sad.

Not such a good place to be when trying to graduate from college.

Right now the only thing standing between me and my degree is a paper. My honors thesis. A large paper on how Hinduism, Greek Orthodoxy, and Islam use certain types of visual images in their sacred spaces. It's big and hard and stressful. And when the depression goggles come out, I just don't want to look at it.

Sometimes it even causes the depression goggles to come out. when I can't find what I need, or realize that everything is getting overdue, that I'm running out of time...I shut down.


Today it was drama that brought them out. Boy drama. I am 22. You would think that boy drama would have been left behind in high school. But I am a twisted soul who can't seem to attract or be attracted to boys who are drama free. And by drama free I mean boys who don't tell me they broke up with their girlfriend and try to date me while telling their (pregnant) girlfriend that they are still together and still love them.


So today, instead of finishing a section of my thesis and sending two sections off to my tutor, I got bogged down by drama...


and put on the depression goggles.



Warning: Thesis may be harder than it appears.

Warning: Boys are lying jerks. May cause heartache.

Do not take either with clinical depression.