RagamuffinTop Challenge: Update #6

I'll just cut right to the chase...I stayed the same again.


195.
0 lbs lost this week.
8lbs lost overall.


I'm trying to keep myself upbeat about it by saying at least I haven't gained.
But deep inside it's kind of fueling my depression. kind of fueling a desire to eat more just because eating less isn't working so I might as well have something to make me happy.

But I will do better. I will get my YMCA membership and start swimming laps and doing some weight training. I will.

I will start losing weight again.

How did you other RagamuffinTop participants do?

like the rain in a downpour

Today is really hard.

I'm in the middle of sorting through 22 years worth of stuff. pictures, programs, tickets, momentos, some memories happy, some sad, and some painful reminders of what used to be and now is gone.

Took puppy out this morning...and she got sick. Apparently I asked the vet for medicine for the wrong worms last week, so instead of catching them early they have had a whole other week to grow and multiply and now she's sickly and tired. Got and gave her the right medicine today, so hopefully she will feel better soon. It's just frustrating to worry about my puppy and frustrating that something I thought I took care of actually didn't get taken care of and now is worse.

My dad isn't coming home this weekend to help me move. Not his fault, but it's still a hassle and disappointing. Just means I have to find other people to help. I don't like asking other people for help. It's ironic, because I just realized I feel the same way about asking for help as Chelle as developed recently. I feel like if people decline to help me it's because I'm not worth their help. Because they don't like me enough to help me, or don't think I deserve the help I'm asking for. Chelle expressed the same thing to me and I told her she was being silly. That if people can't help you it's because they can't. It's a problem with them, not with you.

It's a problem with them, not with me.

I need to ask.



But all this combined with certain other things that are floating around in my head have converged to call out the depression monster. He's in rare form today, seeing as I've been so happy the last few. He wants me to break down, cry, give up on packing and puppy and life in general. He wants me to think that things that aren't my fault or my problem actually are mine to worry about. He wants me drinking Mt. Dew and eating everything I know is not good for me and my weight loss goals. He wants me frazzled, overwhelmed, and paralyzed by sadness.

Not today, sir.
Not today.

RagamuffinTop Challenge: Update #5

Hey Ragamuffiners, and everybody else who comes across my blog!

It's update number 5 for my ragamuffintop challenge.

Can't say it's been a great week. Given in to some junk foody temptations (Arby's, family Pizza night, cheeseburger), and had a lot of "empty calories" Wednesday to celebrate a good friend's 21st birthday.

However, I haven't completely fallen off the wagon, and even managed not to gain any weight from it.

This week I weight the same as last week: 195.

So that's still a total loss of 8lbs from my original weight of 203.

Hopefully I can kick it back into gear this week, resist temptation, and get some good old fashioned exercise in there besides my tug-of-war fests with the puppy.

What is your biggest food temptation?

RagamuffinTop Challenge: Update #4

This week has been extremely exciting. on Wednesday I got my puppy, and yesterday I recieved my bachelor's degree!! (more on that later...only awake enough for one post tonight) I've been a lot more active this week, not much exercising, but a lot of running around doing last minute graduation dress/shoe/accessorie/gift shopping, taking the dog for walks, etc.

I've also been rocking my dieting, even as my calorie intake gets less as I put in the weight that I have lost...and drinking as much water as I can.

As a result, when I weighed myself this morning....

195!!!

Thats a loss of fricken 4lbs this week!!!! 8lbs overall!

so excited. and this week will be a lot of packing, lifting, sorting, boxing things, and more puppy playing/training...so I'm hoping to keep the losing up!


I fit perfectly into a skirt today that was uncomfortable around the waist the last time i put it on. that made me really happy. One of my goals is to fit into the rest of the jeans I took to school with me last august...but I'm too scared to try them until I lose a total of 20lbs. maybe I'll try at 10. maybe. or maybe if I need some extra incentive.

How are you other RagamuffinTops doing?

RagamuffinTop Challenge: Update #3

Dang. Has it really been a week since I have posted on my blog? I suck.


But I had an excellent time in Michigan, took some fun pictures, and will post some of them tonight so that there will be something for everybody to know about besides my weight. Because really, that's the least interesting part of my life.


Anyways, on to this whole update thing.



Down to 199!!!


That means I am officially under 200 now, and I want to stay that way. FOREVER!


So that means 4lbs lost total...2lbs this week.


I still suck at exercising, but the eating is still going well. If I'm losing 2lbs a week just eating better, who knows how much I can rock it if I get my butt in gear!!! It's just hard right now cause I'm trying to figure out something I can do until I get settled in Brentwood and can join the Y.

No, that's a lie. It's really because I'm a lazy butt. yell at me. call me names. make me exercise!!!


I did a 10 minute trainer exercise video thing with my aunt while I was in Michigan and it kicked my butt. She did a whole other 10 minutes and I just laid on the floor doing some crunches cause I thought I would die during the course of the next 10 minute video.

ughhhhhhhh.

I also went wedding dress shopping with my best friend today...and tried on a few bridesmaid dresses...NON of which fit me. 12s, 14s...forget thinking about the 10s. I used to fit in a 12, a 14 easy if the line ran small.

The wedding is the end of February. I WILL fit into a 12 (maybe a 10!)...and I will look FIERCE!

But seriously. kick my butt.