I'm a guinea pig!

Okay, so I'm not really cute, fuzzy, mammal often procured as a household pet. I am, however, a test subject in the study at Vanderbilt! So I decided to do what every self respecting blogger would do, and start a new blog for it!

Go here if you want to read all about my mental, emotional, and physical things that I record so that I can answer all sorts of questions honestly at my clinic visits every week. If you don't care, that's cool with me, I'm really doing it more for myself than anybody else. But if you're curious, and want to see what being a guinea pig does to me, you are more than welcome to do so. :-)

This will still get all my random ramblins/discussions/ideas/etc, so fear not.

That's it for now, I have to get up early in the morning for orientation at Chili's!

anti-labor day

Now before anybody gets riled up about me hating a national holiday, let me explain.

"I" am not anti-labor day. I just find it ironic that a holiday named "labor" day actually consists of most people being off work, and generally not "laboring." so in practice Labor Day is actually an anti-labor day.

So now for my "anti-labor day" story.

I graduated a few weeks ago (for more on that, click here). I moved into a new apartment with my best friend and another girl I know from school last week. Which means I am officially a degree holding, bill paying adult. I also got a dog.

All of this means that I should probably have a job about now.

It's not that I didn't look for a job. I did. I saw all sorts of openings for things that I probably could have gotten hired for based on my ridiculous customer service experience working 2 years as a cashier/head cashier/customer service/return desk at Lowe's. But they were all jobs that I looked at and thought about applying for with dread.

So after a conversation with a friend who just started his own printing business I decided that i didn't want to do something that would make me miserable just to pay the bills. I wanted to do something that would let me pursue my dreams of doing photography and other art stuff (design, painting, etc) for a living.

In light of that, I'm going to get a job as a hostess or a waitress at a restaurant (hopefully at the Melting Pot...mmmmm) to pay the bills and give me some flexibility in my hours so I can build my portfolio and take on some artistic projects.

I was going to go to the Melting Pot today to try and apply...but in honor of anti-labor day I decided to sit around, read blogs, and hang up pictures and organize my new room instead.

very anti-labor indeed. :-D


Tomorrow I shall find a job. Tomorrow I shall go and and get a membership at the YMCA. Tomorrow I shall labor.

Getting Real.

So I have become a bloggaholic. Meaning I have discovered the world of blogging, started my own, and am building a list of blogs I visit and read every day. Three of them are people I have never met, and don't know if I will ever meet...but they are so inspiring that I went back and read their archives. yup. years of posts. read them all (okay...not all of ragamuffin...but all the "soul essentials" and then from Jan 2007 onwards.). So here are the blogs I read everyday:

My best friend Anna
My friend Allyssa

Jon Acuff- Stuff Christians Like & 97secondswithgod
Christine Moers- Welcome to my brain
Carlos Whittaker-Ragamuffin Soul



Jon makes me laugh at the crazy Christian culture I have grown up in on Stuff Christians Like, and puts a new perspective on the Bible stories I have grown up with in 97secondswithgod. Since I became a religion major I got so jaded with Christian culture that I just tried to ignore/avoid it at all costs. But Jon puts all that back in my face, agreeing with me that some of it is ridiculous, but challenging me to think about why it is and how to change it. Jon also was how I found these other two.

Christine is pretty much awesome...and I want to be her when I grow up. biological mother, adoptive mother, foster mother, wife, earth lover, cheaptofree stuff lover. only I probably won't give up toilet paper, shampoo, and toothpaste like she has. I am, however, considering something else she has replaced. but that's another post for another day. She's struggled with depression, anxiety, and being overweight...all the things I am currently struggling with...and she is showing me that I can live with and through these things just fine.


Carlos is my latest addiction. He makes me laugh. He makes me cry. He makes me take a good hard look at myself and makes me want to try to be as real as he is.


So here is step 1 in my responding to what I have learned from my time reading these people's blogs.

I'm joining The RagammuffinTop Challenge.



When I feel depressed, stressed, or even just extremely bored...I eat. Food is comfort. Food is control. Food is something nice to do.

This past year and a half I have been UBER depressed. I have also been UBER stressed.


I've always struggled with my weight. Being tall I always felt like I was too big. But now I know that I am definitely getting fat.

Last semester I tried getting a personal trainer at school...but after my sessions were over working out became another thing on the "omgsomuchihavetodothisweek" list that got flaked out on so much because I got so overwhelmed. Needless to say, that whole process didn't stem the tide that is my waistline.


I am 5 foot 10 inches. When I went to the doctor Monday I weighed 203lbs (can't do the scale right now cause it's 3am and the scale is in my parent's room). I have been over 200lbs for at least 6 months now...and it is freaking me out.

When I moved into school last August I had about 5 pairs of jeans that fit me. Right now I have 2 of those 5 that I can squeeze in to, and one of those has holes on the inside of its thighs that are getting bigger every time I wear them.



So here are my 2 tangible goals:

1. Get down to 150 (this is a longterm goal...I haven't been 150 since middle school probably)
2. Get back into my other pairs of pants before these two are completely useless. (probably take 20lbs or its equivalent in inches)



Barring craziness I will be done with all stressful thesis/school things on Monday. Which means I will be down to very little stress. So this is a perfect time to get whatever diet/exercise routine I decide on started.


Help me do this. Keep me accountable. Make me post an update every week.